Self-love and self-care are often times interchanged in today's speech. This is misleading as proper self-care cannot be truly endeavored if but first one possesses a love of 'The Self'.... In the former case, you would likely go through the motions of taking a few minutes here and there, attending to pressing needs such as rest for a headache or exercise for the body/mind. All this without getting a true spiritual respite.
Society has no qualms in reminding us of the mindfulness prerequisite that 'Self-Care' has been marketed as, while guilting us into obliging the trend..., Even going so far as to compel us into sharing on our social medias when we partake in the practice, as if we are 'winning' somehow... You have likely heard the phrase, "You can't pour from an empty pitcher...', However do you invest the time you have at hand proactively, and to your full benefit, or likely are you more prone to not living in the moment? Rather focusing on what is to be done after you've accomplished this task of taking care of your pesky needs.
If one can honestly say that they have compassion for their soul, why that's a different ballgame entirely, In that factuality is when self-love is tapped into at the greatest degree...Â
I've been blessed to work with many souls over the years and as so am well versed in the fact that some chart placements make it easier for certain natives to be exceedingly willing in implementing healthy routine practices with a total buy-in energy, whereas other individuals will have an uphill path to balancing their needs with the demands surrounding them ....Â
For instance, what's going on with your Nadir and the accompanying Fourth House? The relevance being this area and its attitudes significantly shape how you view the importance of your private self.... If you happen to have exceptionally hard placements thereabouts, i.e. a Pisces majority of the Fourth or Saturn strongly aspected there, you are going to find such things leading to obstacles in accepting you' being worthy of time spent solely on the betterment of one's spirit, without it benefitting a practical matter or another... This could have manifested if your early developmental years caregiver/nurturer withheld compassion from you to where it resulted in a subconscious falsity that you are lacking and therefore undeserving... More overtly, they might have out nought told you damaging things that were meant to hurt your psyche with the attempt to bring you "down a peg or two"....Â
The Second House is another which is going to be tied into this energy as values and self-worth reside within.... One of the best self-love placements you could have would be if your Second, a house ruled over naturally by Venus, found the majority of its degrees aligned under Taurus the fixed zodiac too naturally rule by the love planet. Such a placement would leave you more likely tapped into the sensuality of life and seeking the comforts available through it.
But if you were to have the other Venus ruled sign holding sway over said house, that could cause some hiccups. Libra Second Houses levy high stock in harmonious things, with them compulsively needing balance in all matters... On the surface it may sound like a healthy trait. However, there lies an aptitude to be people pleasing and consequently to compromise oneself.... This association as well puts an extreme emphasis onto the native's relationships, relevant in the air sign being tied to the descendant axis.... Often these individuals make their livelihood in some type of teamwork capacity or in professions that center around humanities... With so much attention being placed on the interactions between the native and surrounding individuals, often they can find their own self-worth tied into how others perceive them leading to codependency being exaggerated compared to others with a different hold on that house....Â
Of course, one's Ascendant will come into play alongside the forementioned houses. It being a strong tell on how much self-assertion an individual will exhibit... A tenacious ascendant will greatly increase your chances of having a more powerful expression of self-love as those who hold an ardent confidence are less likely to put up with others/treatment aimed at dismantling that trait.... Countering to that, if you boost mutable energy along the horizon axis, projecting a willingness to prioritize your own needs will be a harder sell for you.
While all those areas of one's charting should be taken into account when gaging how you'll utilize self-compassion in your life, I would argue it being the cusp between your Sixth and Seventh Houses, what zodiacs are associated with them, and any planetaries or asteroids found lurking there abouts, as the more illustrated examples of why you may suffer in this field....Â
Let's use me as an example: My 'House of Service & Routine' starts under Scorpion territory, yet quite quickly shifts into Sagittarius. The optimism that typically comes with 'The Archer' sign will lead natives like me to constantly be seeking freedom or new paths when it comes to managing their health and day-to-day patterns, This restlessness results in a lack of staying power regarding things we may be excited about originally, i.e. meal prepping, weekly gym trips, water intake, etc. but fizzle as time wears on... While this placement does tend to make these individuals fun co-workers, if they're not truly thrilled or passionate about what it is they're doing the act of buckling down becomes impractical for them.... Contrary, when we find what works for us, the beneficent Jupiter whom supports Sagittarius, urges forward with consistency, pushing us to become committed. There is a tipping point that needs attention though as this constant push can just as well leave us working ourselves to the bone if passion overcomes us regarding what we're doing.... If that occurs our physical and mental needs will take the back burner to where the focus is placed, playing to our disadvantage.
To add insult to injury. my natal Saturn is located in within this house and as with all things Saturn does bring with it blocks and difficulties.... Any fellow native having troublesome planetaries leading up to the descendant as i do likely suffers from any number of setbacks regarding their health, whether it be hereditary issues, psychological disorders, or how they operate in the world, compared to the ease others seem to manage... And the hits just keep on coming as that lovely Sagittarius energy then bleeds over my descendant and into my Seventh House which, wait for it, lies conjunct my Neptune...Â
Anybody remotely versed in astrology will tell you that combination can set up a firestorm of unrealistic expectations and idealistic, if not disillusioned optimism, when it comes to significant relationships and the partners chosen...All too often donning 'rose-colored glasses' when it comes to another's potential or speculate their ability to maturely reciprocate respect & love when we are in union with them....Â
I'm not saying that I am destined to repeat these problems, but now that they have been referenced and I'm become well aware of my tendencies, comes the task of actively working to fight what would continue to be a cycle of unhealthy attachments in my case... That's the magick of astrology!! ...Not only can it help predict likely futures but if we use it as a lens of psychology, we can unravel our own unpleasant motivations in need of adjustment. This so we can experience exponential personal growth over time.
If astrology only came down to the luminaries, Sun and Moon, it would be a lot easier to say. "Oh, this zodiac sign has confidence, this zodiac sign is a bit of a push over... This one over here cares more about others' emotions than their own....." But that's not the case... One must look at a handful of these placements in coordination with the others in order to really grasp one's own personal articulation of self-love. To understand your predispositions, but as well as, the triggers that you will likely develop as you age and traverse this journey in time...Â
I liken it to Billiards... It's all about angles. Understanding that when you examine the variables at play you determine how much you must course correct in order to still make the pocket, in this case the goal being somebody who will choose to enthusiastically take care of your needs before, A) Sacrificing them for another's bias or wants or B) Seeking out another to validate the prerequisites to you being fulfilled as they will undoubtedly fall short, Anyone aside from yourself will never love you, as much as you should love you
In times you find yourself lacking self-compassion I invite you to honestly self-study your chart, (natal and progressed), or partner with an astrologer you trust so you may locate areas within your core being which are screaming for recognition and healing. You will find those parts of yourself in the subconscious, quite often where you feel unheard or unwanted.
Ultimately remember, the level of love we carry for ourselves is the benchmark we set for others to.
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